Fearter rating: 5/10
In space no one can hear you roll your eyes.
Review (no spoilers)
This movie is a sequel to Prometheus. Which in turn is a sequel or prequel to Alien which is a prequel or sequel to Alien vs Predator which is a prequel to.... you get the idea. Alien Covenant is yet another 'Alien' type movie, milking the cash cow of a now tired and jaded franchise.
The film dabbles with the philosophical musings surrounding artificial intelligence e.g. what are their rights? What are our rights? Are they alive? Well no is the answer to that, but there’s lots of things around that in this movie - coupled with a few Aliens (who quite frankly don’t care about such trivialities). Unfortunately the philosophy side of things is pretty low level and piled on thick. Like someone wearing a police uniform at a mafia funeral - it's not that intelligent and not exactly subtle.
On top of this - this which involves robots on extra terrestrial planets playing the recorder to each other - the film starts off very slow. On top of that, the monsters in the film look cheap and aren’t scary. On top of that the plot isn’t great (even I could guess what was going to happen next) and the characters match it.
The acting is average (bearing in mind there’s some big names in it), but the whole thing feels cheap like it was made to be replayed over and over on some digital TV channel far down in the listings.
I could keep going on about bad this is but you get the point. If you watch it and you don’t like it you can’t say you haven’t been warned. If you do like it, then good for you, I’m happy for you!